The Controller, the Bystander and the Equalizer

Veterans can be a rookie’s worst nightmare or biggest ally. The stark reality is that not every referee is interested in making you better. Once you accept that, you can sort out the "bad" from the "good" and learn from each experience. As a new official, you’ll generally come across three types of veterans: the "controller," the "bystander" and the "equalizer."

The controller. The controller takes charge, partly to feed an enormous ego and partly because he forgot what it was like to be a rookie. The controller believes he’s been put on the field or court to save the game from you, the rookie, and save you from yourself.

The controller calls plays out of his area and tries to cover yours. Never mind that players are beating on each other underneath his nose; the controller has got to make sure you don’t blow a call. That veteran official makes it a personal challenge to get through the game and makes sure he looks good doing it.

Watch your back. The controller will not bat an eyelash while making you look bad in front of players and coaches. You’ll likely hear, "Sorry about that coach. He’s just a rookie."

The antidote for the controller is an aggressive pregame conference. Counteract commands – "You stand here" – with your suggestions – "I’ll stand there and look for off-ball fouls while you’re watching on-ball, OK?" By offering suggestions on handling game-related situations, you demonstrate you know some things and you want to take care of yourself.

Another option is to feed the controller’s ego before the game. For example, "I worked with another veteran who did a great job of letting me work my game and offering support when necessary. I’m sure you’re going to be the same type of official based on the good things I’ve heard about you." You’ve established that the controller should let you work your game. Staying on that positive wavelength can pay off later during the game.

Be careful not to show off too much knowledge in the pregame. You don’t want to come across as a cocky know-it-all when you’ve only been officiating a short time. Let out enough information to show the veteran you have a clue, then listen and react accordingly.

The bystander. The bystander isn’t really interested in helping you. Why? That official’s either not happy to be working with a rookie because he thinks you’re going to mess up the game or that official is trying to protect his schedule. The better the bystander makes you, the more competition that veteran has for next year’s games. It’s a real wakeup call the first time you run into a bystander.

The bystander’s not going to want a pregame conference with you. Get a pregame by asking questions. The more answers you get, the closer to a pregame you’ll be.

In direct contrast to the controller, the bystander will disappear and let you hang when you need help the most during the game. Assume in all tough situations with coaches and players that you are on your own; if the bystander shows up and actually helps, be pleasantly surprised. The bystander hides in tough situations because he doesn’t want to look bad working with a rookie.

When faced with a tough situation during the game, step up and be a leader. You can take control and quell situations alone; it’s just easier when you’ve got a partner who is on the same page. Don’t let the game go awry because you’re worried about the bystander. Those who know officiating will note your courage.

The equalizer. The equalizer is the official you want to find. That veteran lets you work your game and steps in only when necessary. The equalizer lets you make mistakes and learn from them without compromising the integrity of the game. That official remembers the insecure and sometimes helpless feelings of being a rookie. He offers support and answers questions. That official is secure and doesn’t view you as a threat.

Learn by listening and asking questions. The more questions you ask, the more you show you’re interested in getting better. The equalizer helps those who want to help themselves.

Remember, most veterans are willing to help. Only a handful, especially at the youth and high school levels, are controllers or bystanders. Deal with them and search for the equalizer.

When roles reverse and you’re a veteran, remember your first years. Become an equalizer and pass the torch to improve officiating. The positive cycle must continue to ensure quality people remain active in the officiating community.

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Pull Up a Chair ...

Everyone who’s ever stepped onto a field, court or rink to officiate a game has a story to tell. Here’s a recollection from a youth game official that anyone who’s officiated for kids below the high school level can relate to. (Do you have a story to tell? Write it down and e-mail to lastcall@referee.com.)

Nice Return on 10 Bucks
By Matt Fleischer

"Take your blindfold off, ref – that was a trip! You’ve got a whistle; why don’t you try using it?"

I was refereeing a soccer match between the "green," and "blue" teams in my town’s peewee fall league. I was 12 years old and was being paid $10 for that afternoon’s effort, a sum that seemed a grossly unjust pittance. First graders were flying all over the place, tripping over the ball, whiffing kicks and falling and running into each other. It was chaos. Making matters worse, however, was the most angry, obnoxious parent I had ever witnessed at a sporting event. From the opening kickoff, he had pestered, screamed at and insulted me at any and every opportunity he had.

"You are horrible, ref!"

Despite my "horrible" officiating, his son’s blue team had managed not just to take the lead but to dominate the game. It notched its first goal four minutes into the game, its second two minutes later and the rout was on shortly thereafter. Yet even the slightest perception of an undocumented infraction drove the parent to such a rage that it forced me to question myself. My insecurity was potent enough to prevent me from saying anything to him. Ten dollars went from unjust to undeserved.

Then something amazing happened. One minute into my discretionary period (soccer officials may add "discretionary time" at the end of each half to make up for time lost due to time-wasting and other factors), after failing to advance the ball across midfield the entire game, the green team made an offensive push. They passed to each other, attacked the defense and were setting up a shot on goal. The closer they came to the goal, the more Angry Parent pestered me about the game time: "How about ending this thing already, ref?"

But with the green team’s newfound confidence I found mine as well. They had been forced to listen to Angry Parent gripe about their supposed infractions as much as I did. They deserved a chance to score. Minutes ticked by, but despite their efforts they couldn’t get a shot off. Seven minutes past regulation time, I knew I was in patchy waters. It was now obvious I was letting the game run too long and Angry Parent appeared to be on the verge of hemorrhaging from his ears. I put my whistle to my lips and checked my watch. In 30 seconds I would have to end the game.

I looked at the field and saw what looked more like a rugby scrum than a soccer game. Both teams were piled together near midfield kicking haphazardly at the ball, which was buried somewhere in their ranks. Suddenly the ball popped loose and landed directly at the feet of the green team’s fastest player. He had an open path to the goal and took off. When he was 10 feet out, he fired a shot. The blue team’s goalie, who hadn’t seen a shot all day, looked paralyzed. The ball sailed into the net, and with a flood of relief I blew my whistle three times signaling the end of the game. To see the green team players celebrate you would have no idea they had just lost, 7-1.

Angry Parent immediately ran on the field, grabbed his son and led him away toward the parking lot, pausing to shoot me a dirty look. I ignored him and turned to walk away. Before I could leave the field however, I heard someone behind me shout, "Hey, ref!"

I immediately tensed up. Who wanted to yell at me now? It was the green team’s coach. He approached me with a sight I had seen very little of the entire day – a smile. "I just wanted to thank you for giving our team a chance at the end like that. I know you let the time run over for us. We are all looking forward to playing next week and I know some of the kids wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for you. So thanks. And don’t worry about that loudmouth, you did a great job out there."

I thanked him and he left to rejoin his team, receiving smiles and high-fives from everyone when he arrived. Even with the cool, fall wind beginning to pick up I suddenly felt just a little bit warmer. I had earned my $10 that day.

Matt Fleischer is a freelance writer living in Cardiff, Calif. He officiated soccer at the youth level for three years.

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