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Sending the Right Message With Body Language
When people hear the word "communication," they think of
how one person speaks to another. A sometimes overlooked yet
critically important method is body language. In many ways,
an official’s body language is just as important as verbal
communication. Just like profanity to a player or coach can
get an official in trouble, poor body language can escalate
a negative situation. Conversely, positive body language helps
ease and control a potential conflict.
At all times, stand tall and firm. Use good posture. It will
help give an appearance of confidence and possibly reduce
the number of conflicts. Hold your head up; don’t dip
your chin.
When a player or coach challenges you, consider what your
body language says to the arguer and the observers (other
players, coaches, fans, etc.). Avoid crossing your arms in
front of your chest. That movement appears too aggressive.
Also avoid a strong-looking "hands-on-hips" stance with your
chest thrust out. Again, the official appears the aggressor.
When an argument ensues, consider placing your hands behind
your back. Stand tall and strong while doing so. That stance
does not appear confrontational, yet shows you’re in
control. At all times, avoid pointing at a player or coach.
Using that gesture appears too aggressive and almost always
gets a heated response like, "Get your finger out of my face!"
Make solid eye contact during the discussion. If your eyes
wander or your head moves around looking elsewhere, it appears
you’re either intimidated by the coach or are not interested
in what’s being said. Neither is good for the conversation.
Also, try hard not to scowl.
From the moment you arrive at the game site, pretend there’s
a TV camera pointed directly at you. In effect, you’re
on stage. Think about what you would look like if you were
on TV and there was no sound. Here’s a situation in which
body language affects a discussion with a coach:
• As a high school softball umpire, you call a runner
out on a close play at second base. The coach comes out of
the dugout and onto the field to ask you about the call. Early
in the exchange, the coach is calm and talking in relatively
normal tones. The coach simply wants an explanation of the
call, saying, "I know you were closer to the play than I was,
but it looked to me like my player was in there. What did
you see on the play?"
While the coach is talking, you don’t say anything verbally
but your body language shows you’re not thrilled with
the coach. You fold your arms in front of your chest, have
a smirk on your face and then roll your eyes when the coach
says, "... It looked to me like my player was in there."
Watching your body language, the coach becomes agitated and
says, "Hey, I’m just out here asking a question and I
have a right to do that. I’ve shown you respect and expect
the same from you." With that, you raise your hand as a stop
signal, then wave the coach back to the bench as if dismissing
him, all with a cocky smile on your face.
The coach then gets closer to you, stands firm and yells,
"You’ve got an attitude problem! You’re not bigger
than the game. I’m going to send a report to the high
school state office. This is ridiculous! Your attitude stinks!"
You then eject the coach.
Through the whole scenario, you didn’t say a single
word. Yet your body language screamed at the coach a variety
of things, including disrespect, cockiness and an unwillingness
to listen. Better body language — eye contact, comfortable
stance with hands behind your back, maybe even a "yes" nod
to let the coach know you understand the concern — coupled
with a solid verbal explanation would have helped you address
the coach professionally and avoid a heated argument.
Your whistle or flag. Your whistle and your flag are
communication tools. When you blow a weak whistle, you’re
more likely to be challenged because it sounds like you’re
not sure of yourself. Conversely a constant, overly loud whistle
equates to screaming. There are times when you need a loud
whistle (to get a person’s attention, in a loud setting,
to help "sell" a call, etc.). But if you’re constantly
blowing your whistle as loud as you can, it would be like
you’re yelling every time you speak. Blow a strong, steady
whistle with normal volume in most situations. Don’t
use short, repetitive blasts except possibly to get someone’s
attention in a loud setting. Short, repetitive blasts draw
unnecessary attention to the official and can be perceived
as "sticking it to" the offender. Think of your whistle as
an extension of your voice. Most of the time, "talk" with
normal tone. If the situation requires you to be a bit louder
and firm, blow your whistle a bit harder. Use that tone sparingly.
The same principles apply to football officials throwing
a flag. The way you use your flag is a method of communicating.
If the flag you throw looks more like it simply fell out of
your pocket, it’s a weak flag, suggesting that you’re
unsure about what you called. An "angry" flag occurs when
an official gets emotional about a call. Slamming the flag
into the ground also equates to screaming. It appears the
official has lost control and is belittling the offender.
Throw the flag with an arc so that it flies gracefully through
the air toward the area of the foul. By doing that, it doesn’t
look like you’re throwing aggressively at someone.
Similar principles apply for a soccer assistant referee signaling
with the flag. If the assistant referee’s flag is raised
slowly or at "half mast," you look unsure of your call. Extend
the flag in an even line directly from your shoulder to the
tip of the flag.
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